Insomnia

Tonight I have not been able to fall asleep. I can not stop my brain from running around. There are big changes coming in my life, very soon. Our youngest son leaves for college in three days. He is not going far, only 20 miles down the road, but for the first time in a very long time, in our married life, we will be alone together. No kids to buffer the dinner conversation, no school activities for us to attend. After being a stay at home Mom for the majority of the last 25 years, I am not certain how I am going to handle this change. I should be looking forward to it-finally time to focus on what I want to accomplish, painting & crafts, reading & writing, volunteering for good causes I believe in. But I am afraid. I fear that no other role I play in life will be as satisfying to me as mothering was. Yes, it was frustrating, juggling extracurricular activities & sports & doctors & dentists appointments, sick kids, school projects, PTA & the never-ending fundraising. But it made me proud to be able to help our children achieve their goals. Now, I feel kind of like an old accessory, thrown in the back of the closet. Will I get used again? I sure hope so! It is up to me.